Take a minute to look at the picture above. Look at the table. Isn't it a work of art?
Or, if you're like me, you see a whole lot of time spent decorating and even more time spent worrying one of my children will break something. (That's why this is a stock image.)
That's how the holidays feel to me. Hours spent decorating only to worry (or actually watch) things get torn apart.
I recently saw A Bad Mom's Christmas and in the movie they talked about taking Christmas back. This got me thinking, why can't we take all of the holidays back?
I don't mean take away the magical memories from our children. I mean take back our sanity and become present again.
I want to feel happy, excited and fun.
Happy
This mythical place where life is "good" and we all ride unicorns. (Okay maybe you don't ride unicorns but this is my version of happy, stay with me)
The psychological definition of happy is when our expectations meet reality.
That's right, if you're unhappy it means you have high expectations. High expectations and holidays don't mix well.
Take Back Strategy: I'm lowering my expectations to:
Not pressed for time
Enjoying the act of cooking
Not caring who eats what
Eating off paper plates
Not giving the kids a bath on Thanksgiving
Excited
Remember when you were a kid and you got to see all of your cousins and eat delicious food. You had no clue there was an army of women (and men) toiling away behind the scenes to make that merriment possible.
For me Christmas didn't die when I found out Santa was made-up, it died when I had to Be Santa! Thanksgiving is no different. When I'm the one making all of the food some of the excitement went away until.......
Take Back Strategy: I decided to host Thanksgiving just for my 4 pack. I make a big meal because I love a thanksgiving meal. Then we turn on Christmas music, pour some wine and decorate the house for Christmas. Since a big crowd isn't involved we eat when we eat and we decorate when we decorate. That's my idea of excitement.
Fun
My daughter told me about a month ago that I'm not fun.
This ate at my soul because as a kid my brother told me I would grow up to be a mom and moms are un-fun. I vowed to always be fun.
Then I became an actual mom and realized teeth do need to be brushed, children do need to be bathed and homework does need to be done. (que the "oh mom do I have to")
Take Back Strategy: I will be fun (damn it)! No nagging, no bathing, no asking for anything to be done. I will embrace my inner 5 year old and show my kids what fun really looks like. I'm pretty sure this will involve glue, paint and lots of stickers.
Bring it on! Fun Mom is coming to town!
So before you put the turkey in the oven or make that stuffing think about how you want to feel on Thanksgiving. Stressed? Overwhelmed? Happy? Fun? Excited?
You get to choose how you feel, no one else does.