In our "busy" obsessed culture one phrase rules them all. "I don't have time for that."
Of course I say this phrase as well but what it truly means is "That's not a priority in my life."
I've decided to share what I don't have time for, what I do have time for and why.
Things I don't have time for:
Anxiety
Self-Doubt
Self-Pity
Blaming
Helplessness
Gossip columns, magazines or websites
Mindlessly surfing the web
Illness
Dehydration
Each of the items above are a slippery slope. If I spend time on blaming, for instance, I get sucked into negative thoughts and end up attracting more of those thoughts.
Not only do my thoughts get robbed but my growth is stunted.
If I spend any amount of time on the things above I don't have the time or energy to learn, grow and give to others.
Things I DO have time for:
My Children
I'm ashamed of the story I'm about to share.
In 2012 I had my first child. In my three months of maternity leave I knew her inside and out but as I returned to work that closeness faded. I traded time with her for longer work hours, business trips and the hopes of a promotion.
In 2015 I had my son and felt the same closeness on maternity leave as I did with my daughter. But as I returned to work I felt it slowly slip away again.
In 2016 I decided to create my own path where I could balance the work I was passionate about along with being a part of the family I created and loved.
After laying the groundwork, in 2017 I left corporate America to begin my life and career coaching practice. I set my own hours which made way for more family time but embarrassingly I had to get to know my children again. At the ages of 2 and 5 they were no longer the babies I left on maternity leave. They were beginning to bloom into amazing little people who were smart, caring and kind.
The summer of 2017 I focused on growing my business AND my family connection. I have no plans of letting either go in 2018.
My Marriage
Every year I say "we should have a date night" and every year I never make this happen.
If I could compare my marriage to something it would have to be my favorite college sweatshirt, comfy, reliable and warm. But in the same vein that sweatshirt doesn't get love and care like my delicates. It gets stains on it from pizza night, thrown in the wash haphazardly and when cold weather ends it inevitably gets put away and forgotten about for 6 months. I would cry if anything happened to that sweatshirt but I do nothing to ensure it stays around.
One of my neighbors has a fancy sports car. He's constantly washing it, armor alling the insides and proudly drives it around town. He sees it as excitement, fun and a source of happiness.
This year I vow to stop treating my marriage like my college sweatshirt and instead treat it like the sports car it truly is.
But, to become a sports car I need to inject some fun, spontaneity and excitement in there along with some tender love and care.
I'm up for the challenge because I married a Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita. (This is the most expensive car in the world, not what my neighbor drives)
My Health
Health became a focus for me after I had my daughter and found myself 60lbs heavier. But two years into my fitness journey I was told I would need my spine fully fused (neck to hips) by the age of 60. I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 15 and never thought much of the slight curvature in my spine.
But when someone tells you that you will lose mobility you begin to value it a whole lot more.
I chose to view this prognosis as a challenge. I want to see if I can beat the knife through activity and nutrition. This may not be possible but I'm willing to give it a shot.
Each morning I get up before the rest of my house, trudge down to the basement for 30 minutes to an hour of high intesity cardio or weight training.
My motto is "not me, not today."
My Growth
What does growth mean to me? It means actively seeking knowledge through books, podcasts, classes, seminars and the simple act of doing. Sometimes figuring something out on your own is a reward in and of itself.
I also believe in luck, when preparation meets opportunity. Missing opportunities due outdated skills, unclear plans and simply not knowing about them is unacceptable to me. I make my luck.
Teaching
Another reason I make growth a high priority is because teaching is my first love. But in order to be an effective teacher I must first be the student.
I also believe it is a crime to gather knowledge and keep it to oneself.
My vision is to teach as many people as I can how to own their life one simple step at a time. Simplicity after all is the mother of lasting change.
I want to live in a world where everyone feels capable, empowered and inspired. That world doesn't exist today but by teaching I am changing it one person at a time.
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HGTV
And yes, rounding out my list of things I will continue to make time for is none other than HGTV.
You know you love it too!
Besides it being great background noise during my meal prepping and bedtime routine it's also quite soothing.
Have you ever thought about the programing on HGTV? This channel is in the business of creating drama free television that makes others happy while creating something beautiful and establishing order and purpose to spaces, homes and families.
Even with the highly publicized split of Flip or Flop's hosts HGTV never addressed this in their programming. That's class!
So that's it, the things I'm making time for in 2018. What does your list look like? It can include a TV series, I won't judge.
Just be honest with yourself. Where are you really spending your time and why?