It was 2014, I was pregnant with my second child and I was getting another layer of management. I would have a new boss that reported to my current boss.
If you've ever been pregnant you know the emotional rollercoaster. Add in something that feels like a demotion and you've got tears, heartache and powerlessness.
Over the course of the next 2 1/2 years I had my son and reengineered my team. I vowed to make my team feel heard, inspired and loved because that's what I wanted and if I couldn't have it then they would.
I watched the new layer of management disappear, reappear and bring with it yet another layer. No matter what I did I felt worthless, lonely and ignored. Was this my life, to wakeup every day feeling frustrated and unwanted?
My solace became my team. I loved the one on ones, inspiring, caring for and teaching my team. Within the 4 walls of my office I created the environment that I wanted.
Something began to happen. Other orphaned employees from various departments started coming to me to talk.
In a world of deaf ears I became a listening one that gave books to read and steps to promotions. I became guidance and reassurance. And my fire was reignited.
The problem was I wanted to help even more people. I wanted to spread this level of empowerment beyond the brick and mortar I sat in.
I wrestled with two emotions. How do you leave a steady paycheck and health benefits? But, how do you stay in a place that no longer cares about you? I knew in my heart I had to leave the place that I had given my blood, sweat and tears.
So, I made a plan.
Finances
What was the bare minimum my family needed to live on? What expenses could I do away with? I sat down with my husband and we evaluated every cent my salary supported. We came up with three categories.
Frivolous spending that could go away immediately. Stitch fix purchases, movies, eating out. These would have to be sacrificed.
Short term sacrifices that would end up back in the budget but could be taken out for an 18 to 24 month period. My children's college fund contributions.
Staples. Think groceries, garbage service and electricity.
At first glance the list of frivolous and short term sacrifices made me a bit sad. Then I realized I had a choice. Was buying a new outfit worth my ever growing sadness for my job? Was paying for my children's future worth me being an absent mother? Did I really want to choose things over my happiness? NO!
Earnings
With my new monthly income goal in mind I looked at how I would create an income and what would have to be true in my new career for me to leave my current job.
How many clients did I need?
Marketing
In order for me to work with this many people what kind of marketing did I need have?
An updated website
A consistent social media presence
A weekly blog post
A Timeline
I gave myself 18 months to build my business while working full-time and raising a family. I also enrolled in a life coaching certification course. It wasn't going to be easy but nothing worth it ever is.
Fear in the Backseat
The final piece to this puzzle was where my fear lived. In the midst of creating the plan fear was in the driver's seat deciding my every move based on security. Fear had a place in my life, it was trying to protect me after all, but it wasn't going to dictate how I lived my every waking moment anymore.
I chose significance over security.
With laser focus I was able to leave corporate america in 12 months instead of 18. 8 months after leaving am I a millionaire? No. Am I happier and more present than I've ever been in my entire life? Yes!
My life coaching practice has given me so much more fulfillment than the silly Stitch Fix box I was initially sad to lose. It also opened the door to more creativity which lead me to design online leadership courses.
So, dear reader, I hope you take this story and write your own. I hope you stop living someone else's dream and plan yours. It's amazing what you can do when you put fear in the backseat.